Have you ever felt like you were drowning inside yourself? So many thoughts, emotions and desires are crashing over my mind and soul. Fears creep up into my mind. Struggles of who I am becoming seem to keep me from seeing straight. The joy of life is swallowing me alive. I am falling feet first into the depths of my spirit. Not sure anymore of what I want or who I want, I keep hearing my own heart beat and trying to muffle the rhythmic sound. It's an internal struggle that needs to be dealt with or I will continue finding the bitterness comforting. I will become my own new prison.
I suppose the hardest thing for me right now is feeling lost. I know who I want to become. I know who I miss. I know (most days) who I am. God there are so many thoughts and insecurities right now. It sucks. However, I have learned before that dealing with the crap of life-outside and inside-are all part of growing up. It's all apart of the journey that we are on. If we try to suppress everything all the time, we will miss out on growth and an adventure. If we try to escape reality, we become delusional. If we fight it, we lose ourselves. If we pretend that we are okay, the play will end tragically.
With that said, I give up. I surrender.
I suppose the hardest thing for me right now is feeling lost. I know who I want to become. I know who I miss. I know (most days) who I am. God there are so many thoughts and insecurities right now. It sucks. However, I have learned before that dealing with the crap of life-outside and inside-are all part of growing up. It's all apart of the journey that we are on. If we try to suppress everything all the time, we will miss out on growth and an adventure. If we try to escape reality, we become delusional. If we fight it, we lose ourselves. If we pretend that we are okay, the play will end tragically.
With that said, I give up. I surrender.
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