oh this is no bueno...all journal entries via blogging or literally hand written have been non-existant for the last 6+ months. we shall try and change that as the world (mainly me) should keep better track of my thought process and adventures. But for now to catch the world up to speed.......I moved to Denver for a job...yay YMCA, i have seen a moose, danced to bad music at a club, drank way to many lattes, went snow shoeing & ice climbing for the first time, joined eharmony (its not working out for me), spent St Patty's Day in an Irish stupper, had 2 good friends come for a visit, had my rommate's husband move into our apartment, broke lease with that lame apartment, can run 3 miles at a high altitude without passing out, been to Rockies games, Broncos Game and 2 nuggets games (one was 5 rows up from courtside), and mainly have meet some really incredible people.

More later.

current road conditions

I am in Colorado and loving it! Waking up to the mountians each morning. Exploring the area. Continually learning a new job and facing new challenges. Meeting new people. Enjoying older friendships. This jounrey has begun and is still far from over.

.........jump..........

looking to say good-bye and waiting to say hello.

Colorado.....less than 3 weeks.

the great unknown.

new adventures.

living life.

fresh.

real.

now.

me.

Become -- The Goo Goo Dolls

This is an all time personal favorite song. Enjoy.

There's so much more about you that you never let them see

You turn away

But not to me

And I know how they tried to take you

Held you up and meant to break you down

But you can't be

For so long I tried to reach you

I know I'm almost there

I'm close enough for you to see

You've been hiding in the shadows

Have you forgotten how we used to dream

Let me remind you

The light doesn't blind you at all

It just helps you see

Can you see

Yeah you have become

Yeah you have become beautiful

And I can't be the stranger

That's been sleeping in your bed just

Turn around and come to me

I feel all the pain inside

And everything you been denied you feel

It's all you feel

You've been hiding in the shadows

Have you forgotten how we used to dream

Let me remind you

The light doesn't blind you at all

It helps you see

Can you see

Yeah you have become

Yeah you have become beautiful

Yeah you have become

Yeah you have become beautiful

Brush back your hair and look around you

Feeling like the truth has found you here

You're here with me

Let love become the mirror

With no fear where you're from

You have become beautiful

hope....

What is hope? Do you ever wonder exactly what it is? Ever wonder why we have urges to have hope in something? Ever wonder why we lose hope? A lot has happened in my life in the last few weeks such as losing a friend, job stress, lack of trust in a loved one, uncertainty about the future. At times i felt like i was suffocating. Other times i felt like there was no way out or around the obstacle. At times i even had to question God. I went to a funeral last Friday and in the midst of grieving i found hope. It had long been ignored and snuffed out. It was a hope that had long been forgotten. It was my hope in God, creator of all life. Christ is my hope. Hope led to the issue of trust and I realized that I am in need. In need of a Savior. I have been trying to do things on my own and have over time become calloused to the love of Christ for me. I don't understand life. I can't control certain things nor am I always responsible for other peoples choices. The hope of Christ runs deep into my soul. Trusting in Christ goes even further. Both are bigger than me. I can barely wrap my head around all this. But I have decided that is comes down to this: Am I am going to place my trust and hope in Christ? Yes or no. Only I can decide.

there are no answers...

there are no real answers nor reasons for life or death. why do some people live and others die at unexpected times or at young ages? why are the stupid people who do dumb ass things still living but those who are aspiring in life suddenly pass away and leave you struggling with questions? what the hell?


glen mercer.....

all i want.....

i just want to be loved. i just want things to work out. i just want to scream. i just want to cry. i just want to run away. i just want to have some fun. i just want to be healed. i just want to see the point that i missed. i just want to be whole. i just want some more grace. i just want to trust.

i just want to become.